On Goodbyes…

Sniff sniff!

I heard a sermon when I was about 18 or 19 years old. It was about Ruth and her incredible story, which is sandwiched in between the bloody Judges and the Kings, most of whom make me roll my eyes half the time with their life choices.

But Ruth. She stands out. She’s quiet and loyal. She seems to take trauma in stride. She serves those around her without expecting much; just, you know, marriage and security and some handfuls of grain to eat.

Ruth poetically expresses her loyalty to her mother in law with a monologue that rivals Shakespeare. Don’t ask me why it’s used in weddings, though. It’s Ruth clinging to her mother in law after her husband has died. The words are so lovely though: “Don’t urge me to leave you or to turn back from you. Where you go I will go, and where you stay I will stay. Your people will be my people and your God my God. Where you die I will die, and there I will be buried. May the Lord deal with me, be it ever so severely, if even death separates you and me.” (Ruth 1:16-17, NIV)

Then there’s the pesky part where she goes to the bed of an unmarried business mogul (for the times), and uncovers his feet and then sleeps at his feet. I get that she’s saving her life and that of her mother-in-law, but was there funny business in that scene? I always wonder. She just doesn’t seem to be the type of woman who would do that, though, I always think.

But in that sermon I heard all those years ago, the speaker pointed out an interesting little detail. It’s when Boaz (the mogul) comes to his field to check on all his workers. As he enters the scene, he greets his workers with a hearty:

“The Lord be with you!”

And they respond with “The Lord bless you!”

This is a positive greeting, as you can tell. The speaker went a bit further in his point to say that greetings and goodbyes are very important. This isn’t a time for shying away or half-heartedly participating. Greetings and goodbyes are an opportunity to deepen relationships and show those to whom you are greeting or goodbye-ing that you love them and care for them.

I never forgot that.

Goodbyes are important.

After we had decided that this Big Trip was really happening, I began focusing on finishing well. I didn’t want any person in my community or sphere to feel like I was dropping them or forgetting about them as I left. It became a priority for our family to say goodbye well because goodbyes are so important.

We informed people of our intentions, made plans for a goodbye party, and advertised for a yard sale, which was really a front to say goodbye as we gave them a few armload of things to take away from our house!

My heart was warmed by all those who wanted to see us before we left. Whether it was a quick text, a meal together, help with packing, or tearful hugs, each goodbye was a souvenir that we would take with us as we left. One of my most treasured goodbyes happened at 4:00am on the morning of our first flight, hugging and crying in front of our first Air Bnb right by our house. Another one was folding laundry together in that same Air Bnb. We cried, laughed, and matched socks because it was better to do a mundane chore together than go our separate ways just yet.

4:00am goodbyes and folding laundry goodbyes are some of the best kinds.

I am blessed beyond measure to have relationships in my life that are meaningful enough to give solid goodbyes to one another.

The Lord be with you!

The Lord bless you!

The importance of saying goodbye has never meant more to me than it does now.